Selfish love VS Selfless love.

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Selfish love VS Selfless love

Love is Selfish
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Love is Selfless
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Love is both, selfish and selfless
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Love is love
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Total votes : 4

Selfish love VS Selfless love.

Postby winter » Sat Nov 19, 2005 11:43 pm

I'll start this out with a quote of my own words when I was drunk. Skip it, you don't need to read it, I'm just selfish and wanted to quote it. Actually, after reading it over, I think I was just confused, which I still am, just not drunk. Damn that was a fucking run on sentence. Anyway.

Love is what it is. Love is what we seek for because we think he need it in order to be happy. Love has made some angry, love has made some upset love has made some bipolar. (note, I once thought Bipolar was a polorbear that went both ways) Love has made some happy, love has made some content with their lives. The truth is, love is so damn easy to find that it's drive many insane and others happy. It starts with yourself and it ends with yourself. In order to find love, you must learn what love is. And love is trusting, caring, all that good mushy shit. Whatever. But first you must learn to love yourself before you can truely love anyone else. In fact, fuck loving someone else, you just need to learn to love yourself. That's my way, I love me so much. I'd do anything for me. I'm awesome!
That's what I'm talking about, in order to be happy you must find love within yourself. First step in doing this is to accept the fact that true love doesn't really exsist unless you want it too. If you don't believe in true love, then your never find it. If you believe in true love then you'll find it, within yourself. You'll realize that sooner or later you and every single body in this world will die. There's no way out of it, you will die. Everyone will die. You, me. Everyone! We all will fucking die. Your mother will die if she hasn't already, your dad will also, your sister will, yoru brother will, your aunt and uncle's will and most importantly, you will. Therefore, once you realize this simple fact, you will Either become suicidal or you will grasp the true meaning of love. IMO, if you truely love someone, you can let them go. Simple as that. My Xgirlfrien back when I was 16 years old died in a car Wreck, sure, I was only 16 years old but at the time I thought I loved her which I still do. The only reason why I can say that I Truely loved her is because I've learned to let her go. So go, love yourself. That's what I do, the reason why I've had so much trouble finding another girl is because I've had trouble accepting the fact that no matter what, sooner or later one or the other will die. I'm not willing to put myself into that chance again. As of now, I love me in a selfish kind of way, it's all about me. me. me. me. me. .. .. ... and Jesus.


Now, read the sober me...

I heard an interesting story today about love, and was wondering what people thought on the subject.

It was a debate in which they were saying simply that love is the most selfish of emotions, that is when people are in love. That love is based on what the other person gives to you, maybe they make you laugh, feel comfortable, they turn you on, they listen to you whatever, but basically love is ultimately selfish.

Is this true or not and what do you think about this discussion I heard?

I don't think that love is selfish but if someone tries to force that love onto somebody who doesn't love you. Then it's both selfish and harassment. Or maybe I'm not fully grasping the debate as a whole. Perhaps I should look deeper into this... Okay. Love is what you make of it. Love is wanting the best for that person, when you make do with what you have. But then you should or normally get it back so its even. Hrm, Is that considered Selfish? Getting back what you put in...

Sorry to be so cynical, but yeah, I definately think love is selfish. But the thing that gets people upset about this idea is that they think that being selfish is some sort of terrible thing? Love is still beautiful...selfish or not. It's completely amazing that someone can find a person who satisfies all their needs/wants and whom that person satisfies reciprically. When people come down from their bubble worlds in which exist ideas like love and happiness and they just live in the moment and enjoy what they have instead of what they think they should have, the world comes into perspective and becomes even more beautiful than any ideal could make it.

But then again, Bubble worlds are quite nice. Fuck me! I don't know!
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Postby Yodi » Mon Nov 21, 2005 11:37 am

I, personally, think that both of you are close to an epiphany.
I believe that God has always been and will always be and yet lives in the moment. Jesus lives in every one of our moments. The moment is the fulcrum of our existence; the hinge on our doors. That's why becoming unhinged is such a tragedy.

When the moment is approaching, I just want to relish the anticipation or deal with the dread. When the moment is here I just want to savor it or learn from it. When the moment has passed I just want to celebrate that I accomplished something with it or basically survived it. Such is life and love.

My definitions of almost everything have changed as I have experienced more of life and death and love. My perceptions at 25 were quite different from my preceptions at 45. Many decisions later!
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Postby Beezus » Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:31 pm

I think someone's trying too hard to find answers to something they don't know much about.
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Re: Selfish love VS Selfless love.

Postby insanehippie » Thu Nov 24, 2005 4:49 am

winter wrote:I'll start this out with a quote of my own words when I was drunk. Skip it, you don't need to read it, I'm just selfish and wanted to quote it. Actually, after reading it over, I think I was just confused, which I still am, just not drunk. Damn that was a fucking run on sentence. Anyway.

Love is what it is. Love is what we seek for because we think he need it in order to be happy. Love has made some angry, love has made some upset love has made some bipolar. (note, I once thought Bipolar was a polorbear that went both ways) Love has made some happy, love has made some content with their lives. The truth is, love is so damn easy to find that it's drive many insane and others happy. It starts with yourself and it ends with yourself. In order to find love, you must learn what love is. And love is trusting, caring, all that good mushy shit. Whatever. But first you must learn to love yourself before you can truely love anyone else. In fact, fuck loving someone else, you just need to learn to love yourself. That's my way, I love me so much. I'd do anything for me. I'm awesome!
That's what I'm talking about, in order to be happy you must find love within yourself. First step in doing this is to accept the fact that true love doesn't really exsist unless you want it too. If you don't believe in true love, then your never find it. If you believe in true love then you'll find it, within yourself. You'll realize that sooner or later you and every single body in this world will die. There's no way out of it, you will die. Everyone will die. You, me. Everyone! We all will fucking die. Your mother will die if she hasn't already, your dad will also, your sister will, yoru brother will, your aunt and uncle's will and most importantly, you will. Therefore, once you realize this simple fact, you will Either become suicidal or you will grasp the true meaning of love. IMO, if you truely love someone, you can let them go. Simple as that. My Xgirlfrien back when I was 16 years old died in a car Wreck, sure, I was only 16 years old but at the time I thought I loved her which I still do. The only reason why I can say that I Truely loved her is because I've learned to let her go. So go, love yourself. That's what I do, the reason why I've had so much trouble finding another girl is because I've had trouble accepting the fact that no matter what, sooner or later one or the other will die. I'm not willing to put myself into that chance again. As of now, I love me in a selfish kind of way, it's all about me. me. me. me. me. .. .. ... and Jesus.


Now, read the sober me...

I heard an interesting story today about love, and was wondering what people thought on the subject.

It was a debate in which they were saying simply that love is the most selfish of emotions, that is when people are in love. That love is based on what the other person gives to you, maybe they make you laugh, feel comfortable, they turn you on, they listen to you whatever, but basically love is ultimately selfish.

Is this true or not and what do you think about this discussion I heard?

I don't think that love is selfish but if someone tries to force that love onto somebody who doesn't love you. Then it's both selfish and harassment. Or maybe I'm not fully grasping the debate as a whole. Perhaps I should look deeper into this... Okay. Love is what you make of it. Love is wanting the best for that person, when you make do with what you have. But then you should or normally get it back so its even. Hrm, Is that considered Selfish? Getting back what you put in...

Sorry to be so cynical, but yeah, I definately think love is selfish. But the thing that gets people upset about this idea is that they think that being selfish is some sort of terrible thing? Love is still beautiful...selfish or not. It's completely amazing that someone can find a person who satisfies all their needs/wants and whom that person satisfies reciprically. When people come down from their bubble worlds in which exist ideas like love and happiness and they just live in the moment and enjoy what they have instead of what they think they should have, the world comes into perspective and becomes even more beautiful than any ideal could make it.

But then again, Bubble worlds are quite nice. Fuck me! I don't know!


I'll chime in here.

I'm single and have been single for the HUUUUUUUGE majority of my life.

Tho I think if you really love the other person you will do things to help them out, but if you are it just for lust then you are being selfish and doing things that will only benefit YOURSELF now.


Simple example to show where I'm coming from.
If you're in lust you'll want your girlfriend to do things FOR YOU now.

If you're in love, you'll do things FOR HER regardless if she returns the favor.

That's how I see it. Then again, I'm the Permabachelor of Richmond, what would I know about love, right?! I like being single, I can do what I want, when where and how I want with no one to nag me on why I was out until 3am at the bar drinking.

One day I'll get past this stage but tomorrow isn't the day.

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Postby Mungman » Sun Nov 27, 2005 10:24 pm

I think someone's trying too hard to find answers to something they don't know much about.

Yeah but isnt everyone.

In reply to the whole subject I cant say I feel love is selfish. A large part of how I feel in love has all ways been utter devotion to that person. Giving of yourself completely without any heeding of the consequences to your soul is part of being completely in love. It is when that person doesnt feel the same that you get tossed down a flight of stairs and end up broken.
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Postby Yodi » Fri Dec 16, 2005 4:19 pm

I ended up broken at the bottom of the stairs once but that was because I didn't turn on the light. IN love sucks. Don't ever be IN love, it's like drowning in molasses to satisfy a sweet tooth.
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Postby darkenangel » Tue Dec 20, 2005 10:42 pm

Love... you know when your inlove when everything else could go to hell, and you'd still be willing to hold onto that person....

Love... should be something people put 100% from one person and 100% from the other... not 50% of that person....

To know someone inside out, and still look at them and feel like they hold the whole world in their hands. that a simple look would make you sit back and think "wow" Damn love is not such a bad thing... and maybe easily obtained but we are selfish and we want what we want.... we are picky.... we almost have to be, But damn... when you find it... and when it consume your every breath. to damn deep to turn back and walk out on it...

there are moments when you want to push away the person you feel so strongly for, while on the inside you want to pull them closer and never have to let go... but we choose the easy way and push.... and those that pull and hold on... those are the ones you see walking holding hands in an old age with their wife of 30+ years... you can look into their eyes and see their love is so strong...


I don't know what i'm talking about... :P but damn i want love to be somethign strong, deep, meaningful... i don't give a shit about a mans looks as long as he takes care of himself... and has one hell of a personality... and willing to keep holding on when it would be easier to jsut let go. But i'll probably be alone the rest of my life... and i'm alright with that too i supose... But damn... some people are so blind... they don't see the writting in the text.
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Postby Ronquistador » Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:16 pm

I dont think love can be "pinned down" to a certain set of feelings... seems to me that it would be different for everyone who experiences "love" and also veries in degree to what you are speaking of loving.

Ex. I LOVE mexican food!
Mexican food is my favorite food out there... but the extent to which the feeling love is acutally encorperated in the thought proccess and subconcious reaction to getting mexican food would be vastly different from the love you'd have for a pet, or person.

the love of pets is a great example... most everyone who has a pet should "love" that pet (in an idealist view of the notion). But the love that one holds for said pet dictates to what extent one would go for that pet. Some pet owners have their animals drink bottled water, buy them every single pet toy they can, have their pets own room in the house , paintings and statuettes etc made of said animal, expensive cremations and long grieving periods after the pet passes...then the flipside of the coin..people who love their pets but wont even take them for their yearly checkups etc...

whos to say that the person whom wont get their animal vet-checked doesnt love their pet the same if not more than the individual who spares no expense for their pet and totes them everywhere in one of those stupid pet handbags ... while fifi has her own room, Patches curls up in bed next to his owner and gets some petting before the duo fall asleep...

love cannot be summed up into words in my opinion... i know for me that love produces a distinct feeling within me that i cant quite put into words - if i were to try and describe it - its a near euphoric feeling that overcomes me that makes everything seem wonderful and that nothing can go wrong
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Postby darkenangel » Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:29 pm

Oooh i love mexican food too Tisk Tisk... and today love is somewhat meaningless.. most everyone sleeps around and cheats... but yet they say they love the person that is their bf/gf spouse... Hmm some love.
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Postby Ronquistador » Wed Dec 21, 2005 2:44 pm

hmmm adultry.... big pet peeve... i cant stand people that do that shit...my father being one of them...hence my mom and dad devorced years ago...

my mom remarried just this month...

im a bit sappy when it comes to love...some would say hopeless romantic... id say devoted monogomy...bwahaha
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