by winter » Wed Apr 13, 2005 2:17 am
These two diggers are in Vietnam during the war. They are the last of their battalion and have been pinned down in their trench for 3 days.
Johnno turns to Robbo and says "I've gotta hang a shit, mate"
Robbo, between artillery blasts, tells him "Not in here you're not! We could be stuck here for days, I'm not lying around in your shit while the VC blast hell out of us!!"
Johnno then volunteers to scoot over to the next trench, as long as Robbo lays down covering fire for him. So up jumps Robbo, firing wildly with an M16 in each hand, as Johnno commando-rolls over the redoubt.
An hour and a half later, Robbo is cursing his mate and still holding a platoon of Charlie all by himself.
Johnno finally leaps into the trench, with a big grin on his ugly head, and Robbo serves him bigtime for being a selfish, lazy, gutless bastard.
"Hang on" says Johnno, 'there's a reason it took so long"
Robbo says "Well it better be a damn good one ... what happened?"
"Well, " says Johnno, "I got over there and started to shit, and it'd been 5 days since my last shit, and with the dysentery and all, it took a while..."
"90 MINUTES?" asks Robbo.
"No no, it took about 10 minutes. But then when I was finished, I noticed this young Vietnamese chick in the opposite corner of the trench. Completely naked, great tits, I reckon about 15 years old. Man, I was so horny I just dove over and gave her one..."
"Ok" says Robbo, 'but thats not 90 minutes worth"
"No, its not. After I'd finished, I figured this could be my last chance, so i gave her another one"
Robbo says "I reckon we're up to about 30 minutes, keep talking"
"Yeah, then I was thinking that I'd had a shit and two roots, while you were here all alone, fighting of the 'Cong, and that didn't seem right. So when i got my breath back, I gave her one for you too - real nice and slow and long."
Robbo's touched. "Thats real good of you mate, and I do appreciate it. But its still not 90 minutes worth.."
"I know, I know" says Johnno. "Just when i was about to come back, they sent that whole volley of mortars over, and I couldn't get away. So I thought, What the hell, and I flipped her over and give her one up the arse as well!"
By now, Robbo is over his anger and he's laughing "You dirty bugger!! Sounds like the only thing you didn't do was get head!!"
"Head? Oh no, she didn't have a head.....
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