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Postby insanehippie » Mon May 30, 2005 7:43 pm

-- Brando -- wrote:Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hands up her skirt ?

A: Self-employed

hahahaahahaha!
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Postby winter » Mon May 30, 2005 9:43 pm

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?"
"None.",replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nevously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you are thinking."
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-My dear buddy, Pat Robertson
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Postby winter » Mon May 30, 2005 9:49 pm

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell, which by
mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around
nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but got no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder--still no
answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and
yelled at the top of her voice, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?!"

Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away...

"We're down here."
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-My dear buddy, Pat Robertson
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Postby winter » Mon May 30, 2005 9:57 pm

What is better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?




Not being a fucking retard.
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-My dear buddy, Pat Robertson
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Postby winter » Mon May 30, 2005 9:59 pm

Miss Adams was explaining multi-syllable words to her
third-grade class. "You all know single-syllable words
like hand, foot, house, and dog, but some words are
made up of more than one syllable," she said. "Now who
can give me an example of a word made up of MORE than
one syllable."

Little Johnny raised his hand eagerly.

"All right, Johnny , go ahead," smiled Miss Adams.

"Autoeroticism," beamed little Johnny.

"My goodness, Johnny, that's a mouthful," marveled Miss
Adams.

"No, Miss Adams, that's masturbation," explained Johnny.
"You're thinking of a blowjob."
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-My dear buddy, Pat Robertson
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Postby insanehippie » Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:22 am

winter wrote:Miss Adams was explaining multi-syllable words to her
third-grade class. "You all know single-syllable words
like hand, foot, house, and dog, but some words are
made up of more than one syllable," she said. "Now who
can give me an example of a word made up of MORE than
one syllable."

Little Johnny raised his hand eagerly.

"All right, Johnny , go ahead," smiled Miss Adams.

"Autoeroticism," beamed little Johnny.

"My goodness, Johnny, that's a mouthful," marveled Miss
Adams.

"No, Miss Adams, that's masturbation," explained Johnny.
"You're thinking of a blowjob."


HAHAHAAHAHAHA Good deal.
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"Why not the Time Cube?" The only reason is educated stupidity. -TimeCube.com
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Postby -- Brando -- » Sat Jun 04, 2005 12:45 am

Have ya heard of the new paint color called "Blonde" ?

It's not that bright but it spreads easy.
Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
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Postby winter » Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:00 pm

LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER
Little Billy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
Little Billy replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-My dear buddy, Pat Robertson
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Postby winter » Sat Jun 04, 2005 3:03 pm

Bra sizes
Have you ever wondered why and how A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there...
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me- I've fallen and I can't get up!
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-My dear buddy, Pat Robertson
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Postby winter » Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:24 pm

Two Condoms are walking by a gay bar.

The one condom looks at the other and says, "Hey, let's go in and get Shit-faced!"

.................................................................

The 5 Secrets of a Great Relationship
1. It is important to find a woman who works around the house, cooks and cleans, and who has a job. 2. It is important to find a woman who makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a woman who is dependable and doesn't lie. 4. It is important to find a woman who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you. 5. It is extremely important that these four women never meet.
..................................................................

The chicken and the egg
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question".
..................................................................

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

-My dear buddy, Pat Robertson
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