So this pair of jumper cables walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says 'OK, just dont' start anything.'
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winter wrote:...
"I know, I know" says Johnno. "Just when i was about to come back, they sent that whole volley of mortars over, and I couldn't get away. So I thought, What the hell, and I flipped her over and give her one up the arse as well!"
By now, Robbo is over his anger and he's laughing "You dirty bugger!! Sounds like the only thing you didn't do was get head!!"
"Head? Oh no, she didn't have a head.....
winter wrote:GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY:
1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets.
Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago.
2. Good: Your wife is not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She is a Lawyer.
3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.
4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.
5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.
6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better than you.
7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.
8. Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a gun.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It's another man.
Ugly: He's your best friend.
10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: As a hooker.
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do!
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