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If you have screaming kids, shut them up!

PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2006 5:57 pm
by insanehippie
If you have young kids aged fetus to 12 years old, here's a simple idea...

Shut your kids up! I work retail and nothing irritates me more than hearing your screaming little kids for an hour.

If your kid won't shut up please take them outside and beat them senseless until they stop. No one cares about how cute or cuddly your kid is, they want them to shut up.

Give them a pacifier or a swift smack across the face, depending on their age.

It should be legal to smack parents that won't control their kids when they're in public. A department store is not your house, either shut your kids up or leave the store.

---

I had to deal with a screaming kid (for an hour) and the kid's oblivious or obnoxious parent today. I told the kid in a calm voice that this wasn't a screaming contest. Some customers and other employees had enough of the screaming kid and the parents. The father said, 'I'm buying a $700 camera my kid can do what she wants.' (or something to that effect) to me.


About 10 minutes later the dad came to me in the camera dept. The dad blew up and cussed me out and threatened to punch me in full view of other customers and the video camera. Thankfully my store manager calmed him down. Hopefully he'll never be back again. THe parents stood oblivious or they didn't care, about their daughter screaming at the top of her lungs every few minutes for an hour as they bought a camera.

If he would've laid a hand on me after threatening to punch me, I would've owned his whole house and car.

Hopefully he'll never be back.

This is a warning to you folks with kids. Shut your kids up!

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2006 10:22 am
by Ronquistador
Sounds like Bernie Mac ideals...

"Im from tha old school...I'll kick a kid's ass!"

from Kings of Comedy

Image


i agree though,,,if your kid starts wildn'out because you refuse him/her the new pokemon game...... just monkey stomp the little bastard out front near the cigarette butt tray and lock them in the car....

they should have a disgnated area for that RIGHT BESIDE the cigarette area...

events as follows...

Kid: Buy me pokemon NOW!
Parent: No bitch...
Kid: buy me it or else...
Parent: Or else what...
Kid: THIS!!!
<kid starts laying on ground bawling like a little baby newborn bitch>
Parent: Sorry everyone! Excuse me while i handle this...COME WATCH IF YOU WANT!!!
Kid: <stops crying a sec> Huh?
<Parent grabs kid by hair and drags him/her kicking and screaming bloody murder the whole way to the zoned off kid thrashing area>
Kid: No MOMMY/DADDY NOOOOO!!!!!
<parent proceeds to thrash the shit out of the kid,,,slamming it into walls...curb kickings...bitch slaps...etc>
<crowd cheers>
Parent: I got your pokemon right here you little SHIT!!!!
<sucker punches kid in nuts (Hurricane bitchslap it its a girl)>
<parent lights smoke>
Parent: thank you ladies and gents...thank you...glad to do it...i know you all wanted to as well...little fucker...
<kid wriths around in a puddle of the kids own blood>
<parent puts butt in the tray and throws the kid in the car and continues shopping>

stepping out of the thrashing zone would of course trigger a sensor that automatically dumps that kitty litter stuff onto the pool of blood...then hoses it into a drainaway...

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2006 7:18 pm
by Webbanation
Perhaps we should all learn how to properly apply Mandible Claws. I was told that when that's locked in, you can't bite down on the attacker's fingers because it like... shuts down the jaw's movements or some shiz like that. I think it'd be very interesting to see how a child reacts to that

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2006 10:08 am
by Ronquistador
if it was a kid... the bite would do much anyway...

besides...id much rather just slap the kid THROUGH the rack of games

I hate screaming chirrin

PostPosted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 1:10 am
by insanehippie
Ronquistador wrote:if it was a kid... the bite would do much anyway...

besides...id much rather just slap the kid THROUGH the rack of games


If only people had the guts to tell parents to shut up their kids. Parents have the obligation to shut their kids up when they step outside of their house and are in places like malls, stores and other places.

If the parents are doing something to shut up the kids, and it fails at least they're doing something. Parents that refuse to shut up or tend to their screaming ankle biters should be ejected from stores since they ruin it for everyone else and are extremely bad for business.

Sure kicking out bad parents might ruin one sale, but that's a much smaller cost than having many more sales lost.

-Jesse

PostPosted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 10:16 am
by Ronquistador
id tell them in a heartbeat...

me: "Excuse me Miss.... weve been getting some complaints from other customers and employees...i mean this with the most respect, but....can you please shut your fucking kid up before i go psycholistic on his/her face?"

Lady: "HOW RUDE! my lil snookums isnt hurting anyone! im never shopping here again!"

me: "THANK GOD!"

everyone else in store: <!!!!CHEER!!!!>

me: "Now drag your fucken brat outa here Miss...and always remember to fuck yourself...fuck the fuck off now...have a good one"

manager: "Youre fired"

store staff: "Youre a fucken legend dood! my fucken...HERO!!!"

PostPosted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:36 pm
by winter
I'm embarrassed to know that the fucking admin of this forum is saying all this. I think both Jesse and fatman Ron are both children themselves, which is why they have such a short temper when it comes to other children. They are jealous an deep down wish that they were still children. Please, find something else to bitch about. This is just silly. If I had a kid and was in the store and my kid was crying over something dumb and one of you punks tried to tell me how to raise my kid, I'd make sure that it would be your ass crying by the time I'm done and my child would prob think it was funny and start laughing at adults crying like babies. You guys make me sick. I hope you both die tonight from choking on each others cock sperm. Bitch.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 9:54 am
by Ronquistador
so when are you comming to the bar with us winter?

im going to craft a roo roo in my basement from a widebarrel louisville slugger and hydrochloric acid coated razor wire

and we ALL know where the roo roo goes

and who are you to try and bash others anyway?

youre essentially the equivalent to a cock knob on adead, rigor stricken 100 y/o ex-jigalo...a tiny festering puss-laden nusence that just wont go away

id like to rip your balls off and feed em to you

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:26 am
by PugLuv83
Jesse, at my store we get to tell them to leave when the kids misbehave. :lol:

Also, it's great to be able to say "THAT'S ME!" when they try and argue and ask to speak to the manager on duty.

I swear I LOVE being able to kick people out of my store. I watch and wait for people to misbehave or not have an ID or think that a group can come in and shop and think only one person has to be 21 years old. It's great to know I am not obligated to sell to anyone if I don't feel like it, although I would have to stand up for my reason to decline the sale later.

But yeah, come work with me and you can just make the parents, and their hell-bringers, leave. :twisted:

PostPosted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 11:54 am
by PugLuv83
Image

One of the small children seen leaving Jesse's department after throwing a temper-tantrum...